Dusk is fast approaching, and as I swing into Justin’s speech therapist’s driveway I see a shadow rocking back and forth behind her glass door, its rhythm momentarily interrupted by the arc of my headlights as they cut across my son.
As I turn off my engine I hear Justin register his approval at my arrival, his happy “eee” cutting across the lawn as I make my way to the front stoop. He is beaming, and I can tell he had a good session by the look on his face, and the similar expression on his therapist’s.
“How’d it go?” I ask, as Justin simultaneously shoves his big red goody bag into my arms and tries to push me out the door. “Today was pretty big” she replied, and I thwart Justin’s plan by putting down the red bag, and giving her my full attention.
“While he was waiting for you at the door, he asked for you without prompting” she says with a grin, and mine matches hers, because we both know this is a momentous moment.
My boy wanted his momma, and he asked for me with words.
Justin’s been using the iPad more at home and in the community, and just a few months ago asked for me spontaneously while using the device (I was on a twice yearly shopping expedition with my sister-in-law and niece, it figures). We’ve been practicing the sentences “I want Momma”, “I want Papa”, and “I want Zach” (the last uttered sans “Z”, it actually sounds cooler that way), but to date they’ve always been prompted and repeated out of context, perhaps after teeth brushing, or while waiting for the school bus.
It’s been exciting to hear my eldest child utter a full sentence, fun to hear Zachary (the child who never stops uttering full sentences) cheer his big brother on and encourage him. To me, however, the entire process doesn’t mean much if it’s conducted without meaning, if the sounds are solicited from him when he may very well be thinking about his bed, or popcorn, or the hundredth rendition of “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” that I will likely be reading to him that night.
His mother craves context, and today, I believe my son has given it to me.
Today, he waited at the threshold, was asked what he wanted, and clearly requested my presence spontaneously for the very first time. In the movies, I would have driven down the cul-de-sac immediately as the last strains of his short “a” sound drifted into the atmosphere.
In real life, it took me a few more minutes to arrive, which gave him time to make a half dozen more attempts to verbally summon me, enough effort for his therapist to make certain she’d heard him correctly. To be completely honest, I’m not sure how many people would comprehend the first two-thirds of his phrase, although with satisfaction I say that his “momma” is clear as day.
It’s taken a decade of work, but every vowel, every hard-won consonant, was worth it.
As always, I have to follow this accomplishment with what I like to call the “autism caveat”, which includes the fact that in the future he may only repeat this charming sentence on demand, or perhaps never again. Although his talented speech teacher could easily get him to recreate the experience for me now I won’t ask her to, because it’s enough to know it happened of his own will, his own ability.
For just a moment I recall that studies proclaiming that children with autism who don’t speak by four have recently been proven false; that in fact, more than half become proficient speakers, and two-thirds can master simple phrases.
Then my son once again shoves a heavy, huge red bag into my hands, looks at me with utter urgency, and propels me to the door handle. Time for this momma to cease her musings.
I capitulate to his demands and release him from this house, but I am elated at his triumph, and for a few moments I allow myself to bask in it before I contemplate what I’ll make for dinner. I hug his teacher good-bye, and follow his galloping form back to our vehicle, his own sounds of triumph at escape punctuating the brisk air. I acknowledge we just might have the start of something great here.
And as I buckle him into his seat he grins at me, and I swear he knows exactly what he’s done.
Skitch
7:15 pm on Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Wow. Very awesome.
Kimberlee Rutan McCafferty
9:25 am on Thursday, March 14, 2013
Thanks, it truly is!
AlysonPT
9:02 pm on Tuesday, March 12, 2013
As someone who knows Justin and has heard him say "momma" many times with prompting or out of context, this is so awesome for me to read! And believe me, every time that word comes out of his mouth, it is accompanied by a huge grin, because I truly believe he knows how special that word is :-)
Kimberlee Rutan McCafferty
9:25 am on Thursday, March 14, 2013
Alyson, you're a big part of why he is saying it, thank you!
Susan
1:58 pm on Thursday, March 14, 2013
I am so thrilled for you, while reading this it gave me goose bumps. You are a special person.
Kimberlee Rutan McCafferty
9:01 am on Friday, March 15, 2013
Thanks Susan, but it's truly my boy who's special! I appreciate your reading this!
Robert Yates
2:54 pm on Thursday, March 14, 2013
Very good work ladies. It must be amazing to watch this young fellow connect his words with the appropriate situation. You are darn right he knows exactly what he has done!
Kimberlee Rutan McCafferty
9:02 am on Friday, March 15, 2013
He does, thank you! And that's truly the important part, that he doesn't just use this skill when prompted, or in isolation. He's starting to use it functionally, it's very exciting. Thanks for reading!
DDJA
8:44 pm on Thursday, March 14, 2013
Your son is an angel. He will continue to provide you with these "gifts"....they both will.
Kimberlee Rutan McCafferty
9:02 am on Friday, March 15, 2013
He really is a sweetheart, thank you!
Glenn Johnson
1:11 pm on Tuesday, March 19, 2013
On Monday, March 18, 2013 my wife and I, both retired teachers, attended a meeting in Toms River designed for individuals affected by hurricane Sandy. We have our primary in Sayreville which suffered minor damage and a second home located in Ortley Beach. This house was flooded with four (4) feet of water destroying its contents leaving only the shell of the house. At the meeting itself there were local representatives, state officials, and representatives of the Internal Revenue Service. During the IRS presentation we learned that, once again, residents of New Jersey and New York are second class citizens. In their description regarding claiming casualty lose they mentioned that the deductible was was a ten (10) percent of our adjusted gross income. They went on the explain that this deductible had been waived with all other hurricanes occurring in other parts of the country - we were appalled. When do we in New Jersey and New York begin to be treated like the rest of the country?
In all fairness, when will those impacted by Sandy be treated as others in the Untied States who suffered a natural disaster? When will Congress do what is necessary to eliminate the ten (10) percent deductible for the casualty and losses suffered due to Sandy? We lost our home and all our possessions there as well as the memories - a traumatic event.
James D'Monquay
4:32 pm on Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Why is this post here? I thought this was about celebrating the progress of Justin? Let's focus on that instead of YOUR tale of woe. What, didn't you get the hand-out you thought you deserved? Cheap out on flood insurance? You should still consider yourself blessed. It's not always "me me me." Good grief, you and "Leaving" need a life.
Joe
4:48 pm on Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Hey Glenn, the least you could do is say thank you to the rest of us for the big fat pensions and free lifetime health benefits the NJEA wrangled for you and the missus.
Its over!
1:29 pm on Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Glenn, I hear you and couldn't agree with you more on WHEN? I for one have finally given up on New Jersey,I have lived here all my life. Being a senior citizen my wife and I have decided to move to another state. High taxes, high everything and just blatant corruption. All you hear day in and day out are people complaining, nothing ever changes. I wish everyone who remains in New Jersey all the luck in the world.
Dentss Dunnagun
2:30 pm on Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Seniors are leaving ,and young college kids aren't coming back or just leaving period LS has seen a population decline ...the job picture here is bleak for one reason and one reason only ...HIGH TAXES . Our legislature refuses to believe it ,for the simple reason because they are paid not to .....they will someday ,but it will be too late ...
Joe
4:50 pm on Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Ever vote for a Democrat? Well if you did, you have no one to blame for the high taxes but yourself. They are obsessed with raising taxes.
Fluke
5:13 pm on Tuesday, March 19, 2013
yea no Republican official ever raised taxes in the state of Jersey.Enjoy your tea Joe or should I say cool aid
Its over!
5:15 pm on Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Correct Fluke, they should rename the state New Tax Jersey!
Its over!
5:20 pm on Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Yes James, your entitled to your opinion for what its worth, LMFAO!
James D'Monquay
6:04 pm on Tuesday, March 19, 2013
To be correct, it is "you're" and "it's" - I guess Glenn and the other NJ teachers didn't do everything they could. Now, back to the real message of this blog - the success of Justin and autism awareness.
Its over!
7:40 am on Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Yes correct James, do you feel better now? LOL!